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Matthew bellassai online dating

Matthew bellassai online dating


Earlier that day, my schoolmates and I were eating lunch in our classroom. I turned around at just the right moment with just the right combination of fingers stuffed into the right combination of face holes. This book is my Baggie full of pee pants. I spent the next twenty minutes silently brooding in that bathroom. Everybody was already hopped up on assembly energy, but now we were especially animated, fidgeting in our seats, screaming across the room, tossing bits of food when the teacher turned her back. I say this not to brag—although making it over twenty years without pissing my pants is actually quite an accomplishment, to be perfectly honest—but to bare my shame. I might not have been the fastest or strongest, but I could spin a joke or pull a face, and bring an oafish menace like Austin to his knees. Austin was the boy who sat behind me, a huge lug of a kid, nearly twice as tall as the rest of us and almost twice as thick. All I needed to do was spend the next two to three hours in damp agony, and as long as nobody looked too closely or inhaled too deeply, I could escape undetected. My hands helplessly fumbling at the buttons, I finally succumbed to sweet relief, soaking the plush rug beneath my feet, along with my socks, underwear, and those wretched pants, still buckled around my waist. And I hold it high as the urine-stained hero.

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Matthew bellassai online dating. Buzzfeed star comes to UW-Stout.

Matthew bellassai online dating


Earlier that day, my schoolmates and I were eating lunch in our classroom. I turned around at just the right moment with just the right combination of fingers stuffed into the right combination of face holes. This book is my Baggie full of pee pants. I spent the next twenty minutes silently brooding in that bathroom. Everybody was already hopped up on assembly energy, but now we were especially animated, fidgeting in our seats, screaming across the room, tossing bits of food when the teacher turned her back. I say this not to brag—although making it over twenty years without pissing my pants is actually quite an accomplishment, to be perfectly honest—but to bare my shame. I might not have been the fastest or strongest, but I could spin a joke or pull a face, and bring an oafish menace like Austin to his knees. Austin was the boy who sat behind me, a huge lug of a kid, nearly twice as tall as the rest of us and almost twice as thick. All I needed to do was spend the next two to three hours in damp agony, and as long as nobody looked too closely or inhaled too deeply, I could escape undetected. My hands helplessly fumbling at the buttons, I finally succumbed to sweet relief, soaking the plush rug beneath my feet, along with my socks, underwear, and those wretched pants, still buckled around my waist. And I hold it high as the urine-stained hero.

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2 thoughts on “Matthew bellassai online dating

  1. [RANDKEYWORD
    Vojinn

    Austin was halfway through a long sip when I turned around and made a funny face—my repertoire of humor in first grade was limited to gurgling noises, knock- knock jokes, and funny faces—and he choked back a mouthful of spittle and milk with a furious scowl.

  2. [RANDKEYWORD
    Kigagar

    But still, I felt peppy and witty and sophisticated whenever I walked those streets, like a character in one of her movies, waiting for a young, hot Tom Hanks to reach for the same muffin as me at the bakery before sweeping me off my feet and paying off all of my student loan bills. Some days, when I'm standing in front of a toilet, I can still feel that rug beneath my feet, a moist phantom of my earliest humiliation.

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